Butt Zingers; remedies to make your butt sing!

2 11 2016


Don’t be afraid to talk about your pooper!  Very important as it plays a role in your detoxification and since colon cancer is in the top 10 cancers you can get, taking care of this organ will help prolong your life.  Pooping counts!  Take note how often you go, if you are bloated after you eat, if you have smelly gas, odorless gas, sharp pains in your gut or an irritation on the lower right side of your abdomen and if your stomach feels “hard”.  If you have any of the above symptoms then you need some “Butt Zingers”.

There are many remedies to make your “butt zing”….which means these remedies get your “pooper” working 3x per day without gas, bloating, pain etc.    Contrary to a lot of rumors  your bowel was made to release its contents after each meal.  When your stomach becomes full of food the rectum should be triggered and it will give you a signal that you need to have a bowel movement.  Take the time to poop!  If you are too busy to poo, then you are too busy!

Here is a list of “Butt Zingers”, try one or a few of these suggestions on your own if you like, but if you don’t have any success or little success after 4 weeks, then I would see a professional herbalist or a natural health professional of your choice.  (I am available for face to face appointments as well as appointments over “face time” or “skype”)

Butt Zinger #1: Fiber Drink for a Daily Cleanse.  We have all heard about this 30 grams of fiber deal, but it isn’t near enough and is the minimum recommended amount of fiber per day.  You can get the minimum by taking 2 heaped tbsp of ground golden flax seed in water and you can add psyllium to even make the fiber content higher.  If psyllium makes you bloated then use ground chia seeds or you can even add finely ground oat or wheat bran if you are allowed to have grains or gluten.  (Note: oats are gluten free if the package says so, wheat bran will be contaminated with gluten.) Roughly each tbsp or 15 mL of ground flax, psyllium hulls/seeds & chia equals about 5 grams.  If you are living in a colder country (Ie. any place that has all 4 seasons) then you will need to take at least 2 fiber drinks per day.  The reason for this is simply because the food eaten in colder countries is heavier so more fiber is needed to “push” this food along in the intestines helping you to eliminate properly.

How to Take A Fiber Drink Properly

Butt Zinger #2:  Eat Fermented Foods Daily.  You drink water kefir, milk kefir, eat yogurt, eat fermented vegetables, & do it daily so that you can keep the good bacteria in your gut up to high enough levels to help you to produce enzymes, Vitamin K & other vitamins as well as to simply increase your digestion & assimilation of food. (Ie. better energy, no gas, better skin etc.) Here are some recipes for you to make your own fermented foods:  Water Kefir, Kombucha, Fermented Vegetables.

Butt Zinger #3: Do a Bowel Cleanse using Bentonite Clay, Psyllium hulls/seeds ground, Ground Flax Seed in combination with a Parasite Cleanse like Parapak from Nature’s Sunshine or use Black Walnut/Cloves/Wormwood and in conjunction with bowel herbs or Magnesium citrate.  There is different quality in herbs that you buy so I am suggesting this Black Walnut tincture or capsules & I would capsulate your own clove capsules because it seems that the brands I have tried already capsulated are not as potent.  If you buy the powder from a reliable health food store it should make your tongue “numb” & be fairly bitter/spicey in your mouth.  As far as the Wormwood goes I get my tincture in bulk & it works better than the capsules.  (Yes, it is quite bitter, but you only take about 4 to 6 drops in water & then eat an apple to get the taste out of your mouth.)  The parasite cleanse lasts for up to 8 weeks depending on what you have going on.  I am available for appointments to help you out with this either in person or over Skype.

        If you decide to do the Clay/Psyllium/Flax seed mixture, you will want detailed instructions on how to do this properly.  You can use Dr. Bernard Jensen’s 7 day cleanse as a guide, and yes, it was intended for those who can fast for 7 days, but you can modify it to include “light” cleansing meals/shakes if required.  I am not advocating people to fast since it is not for everyone.  (I did not include the other supplements he uses in it, so if you are wanting to do the cleanse with the supplements email me and I will give the names of them to you with the substitute supplements for those of us in Canada eh:)) Check out the modified version here. 

Butt Zinger #4:  Take Magnesium Citrate before bed & in the morning to make your poo softer & easier to release in the morning & afternoon.  Remember the train rule, 3 trains in, 3 trains out….Ie. 3 meals in & 3 meals out!  If you are not pooping 3x per day & they are not as long as your arm & a “toonie” in diameter then you are not pooping enough!  The amount of Magnesium you need will vary person to person…so you have to play with it a bit before you can get this down to an art.  But you still want your stools formed, soft and easy to eliminate.

Butt Zinger #5:  Make sure that you keep away refined foods like white sugar, white flour, white rice because these tend to “gum” up the colon & it will have a difficult time eliminating for you as the Ascending Colon on the right side of your body has to work against gravity to get rid of the poo & if there is not enough fiber in your diet or supplements then you will get a build up inside your intestines which will make you toxic over time & have very low energy or lower energy than optimum levels.

Butt Zinger #6:  If your gas is smelly you are having trouble with digesting proteins or you have parasites so you will need to either change the type of protein you are eating, or the way you cook it, or use digestive bitters or enzymes to digest the protein better.  Betaine HCl is usually the one used in this case or a parasite cleanse or both!  If your gas has no smell then you are not digesting your carbohydrates well so you will need to take grains out of your diet, or use a “pancreatic” digestive aid like the Digestive Enzymes Nature’s Sunshine sells, or you also need a parasite cleanse or a combination of all of these. (If you want the Nature’s Sunshine enzymes, I do have them for sale.)

Butt Zinger #7:  Do colon hydrotherapy or colonics at least every fall & spring in a series of 3 to 6 at the most 2 weeks apart but best is weekly or every 3 to 4 days.  This will help to clean out the build up and free your liver up from keeping the toxins out of your blood from a toxic colon.  (Ie. The liver detoxifies through the colon.)  This is also practicing “health prevention” since colon cancer is in the top 10 most common cancers.

Butt Zinger #8: Take a high quality probiotic.  I use the Seroyal/Genestra HMF probiotics because they are “Human Microflora strains” which will not be easily washed out of the colon because they form a “living” wallpaper in the intestine.  Seroyal has many different types of probiotics but the most common one I use is the HMF Intensive, HMF Super Powder, HMF plain capsules, HMF Replete & now they have introduced the HMF Travel version which I am very excited about using!  I assess each person to determine which one they need and just to clarify, most if not all of the probiotics bought at the health food store are not good quality & they usually “wash” out of the colon in 4 days because they are bacteria strains sourced from cows.  So don’t waste your money.  When you use a good quality probiotic you will notice some sort of difference in your digestion.  Ie. less gas, bloating etc.  Please also note, studies show that probiotics are best used along side a good diet rich in “fermented” foods as listed above.

Butt Zinger #9:  Drink water with no Chlorine in it or drugs, yes, prescription drugs & other contaminants.  Ultimately use a filter and check it every 3 months to make sure it is still filtering adequately.  You can buy “spa” drops or “oto” drops at your nearest hardware type store for a few dollars & they will show if the water has Chlorine in it by turning the water yellow or another colour…check the instructions.  In case you weren’t sure why I put this as important for the intestines, particularly for the colon, it is because Chlorine kills the good bacteria in your gut, plus it also competes with Iodine so that your Thyroid will be functioning low…..both cause sluggishness in the colon & decreased elimination which means increased toxicity in the body. 

         And remember, I am only talking about the Chlorine in the water.  There are traces of prescription drugs in the water too…& only God knows what that does to your colon.

         The other factor to remember about water is to make it “alkaline” water.  I know there is great debate over R/O water, distilled water etc…but most people need “alkaline” water because it absorbs better.  The only reason why people should drink R/O or distilled water is simply to detoxify metals or other toxins out of the body for certain dis-eases like cancer for instance…or if you simple “feel” better using the R/O or distilled water.  Otherwise, drink alkaline water…at least pH 7.5 to start. 

          Also, water helps keep the stools soft, but you have to be absorbing it if you want this result.  Each person, child & adult, should be drinking at least 1/2 oz of water per lb of body weight or for us Canadians it is 1.1 oz or 32.5 mL per Kg of body weight.  So every adult is between 1 to 3 litres per day of water at least.  And if you sweat a lot, drink more. 

Butt Zinger #10:  Eat lots of dark green leafy veges, wheat grass, cruciferous vegetables, sprouts etc.  Basically, anything with chlorophyll helps soothe the colon, plus there are other vitamins & plant chemicals that help the body get rid of environmental poisons & toxins.  Wheat grass is very powerful & can be used in a “retention” enema to help with deep healing & detoxifying of the liver.  Seroyal’s concentrated Chlorophyll is very good as well as the Nature’s Sunshine Preservative Free Chlorophyll which is mint flavoured if you have trouble with the straight concentrate.  Both are sourced from alfalfa & are wonderful for soothing irritated guts.  Nature’s Sunshine also sells the Chlorophyll capsules which work when travelling when you cannot get enough veges into you & your intestines become too acidic.  Ie. symptom…burning butt hole, or just cranky guts without diarrhea.  This is not the cure for traveller’s diarrhea….that is a whole different kettle of fish!  (Look for a blog post on this in the near future.)

Remember; when you have taken care of your colon your butt will “zing” for you!

Please note: these health tips are for information only and are not meant to diagnose or treat anyone.  The reader assumes all responsibility for applying or not applying any of the recommendations here.



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2 11 2016
Butt Zingers; remedies to make your butt sing! | Hirai Health Blog

[…] Source: Butt Zingers; remedies to make your butt sing! […]

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